Chocolate Chips and Cookies

Wow i am STILL having the problem of feeling the need to finish food items in the house. Because if I don’t, then no one will. (That’s my belief) And it will sit there for ever and get spoiled, or ignored, and what a waste of food!
>>Like who cares, right? Let the food sit there. If it gets spoiled, then it gets spoiled.
>But then I have to buy new food with my own money!
>>Well you’d have to buy new food eventually anyway…
Bickering voices in my head.
The biggest thing is when I make cookies. I always eat them all. Like way too many in one sitting/in one day. I never feel good about it. Sometimes I don’t feel depressed by it, I just feel full. So then the next time I want to bake, I tell myself, oh yea well it doesn’t always depress me, so I can make them again!

food
No. Seriously no one in my house likes food, so I could start making stuff only that I think they would want. If they don’t like food, then why would I make anything?

ALSO whenever my friends plan a hang out with me, I overthink it, worried that they’ll see my fat body in comparison to their tiny thin bodies, and so as a response, I overeat even more to numb my fears. So I pretty much make that fear a reality. Sounds like if I dissolve the fear, then I won’t make something so unwanted into a reality.
Okay let me talk myself through it:
I acknowledge that I feel fat in front of my friends. That’s okay. I am fatter than they are. That’s okay. I accept that. Now I’d like to transform this energy into useful energy. I’d like to be thin as well. Its okay if I am fat but it’s okay if I am skinny also. It’s okay. It is all okay.

Hmm I think i actually feel better now. At least that helps the mental health, if nothing else!

xo
AB

P.S. Thinspo for the post
thin

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