Exercise Struggles

image

CW: 121.5
GW1: 115
GW2: 110
SO CONFUSED HOW I LOST WEIGHT AFTER ALL THAT FOOD lolz

Anyway that seems to be the case lately, my body is like on a 2 day delay of what I do!

image

So this morning around 9, I went on a run to the beach and back, interspersed with some walking and pauses.
And BY THE WAY, it was suuuper hard to make myself go aaaaah
In fact, I’ve been planning on doing a beach run for the last few weeks, but always get too scared to!! Like okay what’s so scary about exercising? I don’t know!!  Ive been thinking about it for a while, and I think it may be that we have EXPECTATIONS of how much we need to work out beforehand. So we’re afraid to even exercise because we have such high expectations that we’ve created for ourselves to meet, that the whole idea of working out becomes daunting and scary. So I guess every now and again I want to check myself and ask wait WHY does this make me feel so afraid, what does this mean?

That’s something fun to work on too, if you notice that something scares you, just be aware of that, ask yourself why, and then make yourself do it!

Okay wow why am I always some damn life coach over here. Once I get started I just keep going like that Energizer bunny… Yes I’ve also been called that way too many times. New Halloween costume idea.

image

I’ll be wearing those shades too.

And after i went to the beach w my best, it was really a good time, socializing always lifts me up for the rest of the day! We discussed our job dilemmas bec in our early 20’s, i feel like girls all feel so lost on their journey. Esp for girls who always aimed to please growing up. Now without school, there are no rules to follow, and it feels like we have to suddenly man up and be more aggressive to go after jobs. Changing who we are. Its scary sheeet!

Aanddd we did go to Souplantation after which is a buffet in case it is foreign to you. It wasn’t a huge issue though I ate mostly salad and some bread stuff but not enough to be too much. Still less than what I used to eat in a day, is my consolation. And also bec I lost weight today I feel like safe to eat. Maybe I’ll start weighing every other day bec right now… its yo-yoing all over the place.
DOES ANYONE EVEN READ MY POSTS?!!! Seriously I lovee reading your comments and your pages too. No ghosts! 🙂

CW: 121.5
GW1: 115
GW2: 110

xo AB

Advertisements

5 thoughts on “Exercise Struggles

  1. I do 🙂
    And try weighing once a week, it’s much more effective than daily weighing as your weight fluctuates so much depending on the time of day and where you are in your cycle etc, how much water you’ve drunk! There are so many factors! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I get so afraid of exercise in case someone would ever see me. It’s like this whole thing with other people who work out- they’re always ten steps ahead of me in their awesome workout gear and even though they don’t make eye contact with anyone, I still feel like I was just judged on such a scale that I wasn’t even good enough for a glance in my direction. Ironically, I don’t want them to see me because i know how I appear and my level of mental effort doesn’t match my physical so it would be so embarrassing either way. So I don’t even exercise outdoors anymore because I have so many fears and so much anxiety that spawns off that little crazy explanation lol

    Like

    1. Omgg yes i do nottt like judgment! And I notice how you’re mentioning having many fears. I would like to add that i have SO many effing fears and I allow them to hold me back from life itself! Like I’m sooo tired lately of not allowing myself to do something, something that would probably bring me great joy, because I’m afraid. Or even worse, I wont even allow myself to THINK or IMAGINE a lot of things, because I’m afraid someone else would find out, and judge.
      It feels like this is no way to live, but its so natural to allow those fears to guide decisions I feel like. I’m trying to mentally talk myself thru a fear by thinking of what I love about it instead? If love and fear are opposites, then maybe for what u said, the love of inhaling the fresh outdoor air can conquer the fear one has of other people watching them work out? Thank you so much for your post!!
      xo AB

      Like

    2. Aww I bet you would look beyond amazing! Don’t feel bad no one is judging you! And if they are then they’re jerks and don’t deserve your presence. But I do understand the fear. I compete with everyone in my mind and push myself so that even though I feel like a fat whale I know that one day I won’t be if I just keep pushing. Hugs! Just found your blog! Enjoy being 23, it goes by too quick!!

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s